Starting (Again)

So, I've attempted to start this thing now three times. I've deleted my previous posts because they have seemed either shallow or just self-indulgent. This morning, as I drove to mass, I decided that I am going to throw myself into the arms of God. I am going to throw myself openly to God in the hopes that I can be healed (I have some things that I'm dealing with...the specifics aren't really important except that it is the hardest thing I've had to overcome).

I started the becoming-a-Catholic process in the fall of 2007, the year I graduated from college. I started going to RCIA classes, which was just terrifying. I went to the first meeting (I ended up being late because I went to the wrong group, and just about burst into tears when I found out I was in the wrong place...it was awkward) on a very cold wintery morning with no idea what to expect. I'd been driven to the church from reading Dorothy Day, and just loved the idea that we are all part of one universal body and how the eucharist helps us to experience that.

I did not grow up in a religious family, but had been exposed to bits of the bible and hymns and things through school. I remained a closet-Catholic for quite some time, and it still continues to be something that I cannot share with my friends (I am a solo Catholic traveller, in my world).

At any rate, I was baptised, received communion and my first eucharist all in one night in a beautiful ceremony. Since then, I moved, stopped going to church for a while, and am just now starting to get back into the swing of things.

I want this blog to be a chronicle of my journey. Where I once turned to God out of joy and thankfulness, now I am doing so, not with an agenda, but with great, desperate hope.