Epiphany

There are two different priests who conduct mass at my local church, each with their own style.  Father Steve, the older (?) of the two, has been doing most of the masses for the last few months (at least the ones I've attended).  Father Steve is a major word-nerd.  He very much enjoys the richness of etymology, and will often explain the historical, spiritual, and cultural significance of words that come up in the readings.

Today was no exception.  Epiphany comes from an ancient Greek word meaning, 'to show.'  This word (and its significance in The Epiphany) is expressed through the Platonic ideal that there are forms that contain a deeper significance that remain hidden to individuals until there is a moment of light when understanding is gained (an epiphany, if you will).  That is to say, in such a moment one can see "how things really are."  Good old fashioned metaphysics are at hand, here.

The classic example of an epiphany is "the moment of clarity" experienced by an alcoholic when he or she realizes that drinking has become a problem and it's time to quit.  An epiphany calls for a fundamental lifestyle change.  Even if the addict doesn't make a complete turnaround at that point, it's impossible to truly turn back and silence the understanding gained during that moment.  That addict will know that the behavior is wrong, that it isn't healthy, and will not lead to anything good.

The epiphany of advent is that God is with us.  Love is with us.  Love is a force governing and existing in the universe, even in the face of evidence pointing to the contrary.  There were over 2,000 emergency calls made in Manchester, England on New Year's Eve; 33 of those calls were to report stabbings.  There is a shocking amount of violence in the world.

I've had "moments of clarity" in my life, several of them with the same epiphany.  I don't think that the message I'm receiving is falling on deaf ears.  I have not been as successful as acting on this message as I would have hoped, but I recognize that it is a slow, slow process.  On different ocassions, I have realized that I do not show love to myself the way I do to others.  I have, at different times in my life, engaged in self-destructive behaviors, while still maintaining friendships wherein I displayed great concern for the other person but very little for myself.  I have come a long, long way to correct this, and realize that I am at a much healthier place now than I ever have been.

I go through phases of wanting to eat healthy, exercise daily, and do all sorts of very health-nutty things.  Due to a recent event (which I will share in about a month), I have actually started working on this more actively.  I have eaten brown rice and whole wheat bread today--something utterly unprecedented in my life!  This recent event is still (mostly) rooted in loving another, but since I am also the benefactor of this caring and healthy lifestyle change, I will embrace it as a good thing.

Things really are good.  God is with me.  At any point, I can always pick-up, try again, and be healthy and wish goodness upon myself.  I can show love towards myself by making healthy choices.  I am excited for these small, good changes.