When I was in college, I attended a worship group meeting one day because one of my (at the time) favorite professors was giving a talk. He discussed the importance of making sure that the classes, and the subject matter you're studying for them, relate to your beliefs. That is, one should be constantly asking oneself, "How does what I'm studying in this class relate to my faith?" Even things like the formation of ionic bonds should be considered alongside a belief in God.
This idea struck me at the time as being really difficult. However, being a philosophy major, I felt like everything that I studied was mostly meaningful and significant...But, how was a biology major to relate their studies to God? Now, I see how important it is to make sure that what we are studying or working as (in my case, a waitress) is in line with my beliefs. That is, I should be a humble servant while I am waiting table (i.e. be nice and not complain about customers). Seems simple, but it has very good and very far-reaching branches. The way in which we work, the attitude towards even mundane tasks, can reflect our beliefs and a sense of integrity.
Today, I was awoken early by some inspectors. The building I rent is being resold so the potential new owners are making sure the building is sound, I guess. One of the inspectors was very friendly and made the intrusion less invasive seeming. On his way out, he dropped off a couple of packets of dip-mix that his wife makes and puts together. I'm sure they'll be very delicious. I thought to myself, this man is finding a way to connect with people in his job, he's finding a way to include Christ in his work--most of which involves inspecting crawl spaces and running tests, fairly mundane things. I hope to be able to do the same.

Apologizing

I have often found myself being faced with the choice of whether or not to defend the Catholic faith. The opening dialogue goes something like this:

Friend: So, you're Catholic?
Me: Yup, I was baptized about a year and a half ago.
Friend: Oh, yeah. I just really don't think I should have to confess to a priest. I believe that everyone should just talk to God directly.
Me: Uh huh.

There are probably three very common responses, wherein the friend or other launches into a speech about how he/she does not believe in either confession, the church's stance on birth control, or the papacy...With the exception of the latter (right?), those aren't paramount beliefs of the Catholic faith. The essence of being a Catholic is believing in one God, the Holy Spirit, and His son Jesus. Also, that it's important to help your neighbor. Birth control, confession, and the papacy are waaaaay down the list of important issues.

I believe that, in general, people tend to latch onto stereotypes and don't really have much interest in learning that those stereotypes are just that--stereotypes. Thus, I usually reply with "uh huh," and then listen for about 5 minutes as the "friend" character rambles off the usual stereotypical information about how there is a corrupt power system in the Catholic church, that priests are into young boys, that there shouldn't be intermediaries (priests, saints, etc.) and gauge whether or not it's worth correcting the other person about what they have heard about the church.

I haven't yet found a worthy occasion to be an apologetic, to defend my faith, to be a sole spokesperson in that moment for the entire Catholic faith. I allow the other person to air their stereotypical views and then change the subject.

However, if someone were to ask me, "I heard that Catholics believe such-and-such...Is that true?" I would definitely respond with information and engage in a dialogue. However, I've yet to experience this and instead am flooded with offensive accusations towards the Catholic church.

I used to be one of "those people," so I know how hard and surprising it can be to face stereotypes about a church. I have also had it pointed out to me lately that I tend to have a similar attitude towards Jehovah's witnesses and Mormons (I've not spoken "to" either directly, just "about" their beliefs to people of other faiths). Still, I would like to learn more about those particular religions, if only to avoid the pitfall of pointing at others' ignorance while ignoring the log in my own eye. I would hate to fall into the following scenario:

Me: Oh, so you're a Jehovah's witness?
New friend: Yup.
Me: So, you don't believe in receiving blood transfusions?
New Friend: Right....

Instead, I would prefer to be able to have an intellectual discussion with a Mormon one day about the metaphysical implications of the belief that God has a physical body but is also unlimited in power. Doesn't that sound like a more interesting discussion?

The Art of Complaining

I work in a restaurant, so, naturally, I have many occasions to complain: customers, being sent home early because it's dead, co-workers, etc. I try to believe that everything happens for a reason. For instance, when I end up leaving work either very early or very late, I tell myself that this is God's timing that prevents me from getting into a car accident on the way home.

Last night, for instance, I ended up going home after only 2.5 hours of work. I was quite happy to do so (my three tables left me a nice little sum), as I was looking forward to an evening of working on crafts and such. I got a text message from a friend who had a bad feeling about the night. I took the opportunity to say the rosary and prayed for my friend's safety. My friend returned home safely by the end of the night.

However, I managed to get quite a few complaints in before going home last night. I try to remind myself that complaining doesn't achieve any positive results, unless it's vitally necessary to get something off one's chest for fear of later yelling at the wrong person. Still, it's something I'm going to try really hard to work on. I have been granted so many gifts that I should be focusing on being grateful instead.

People say that it takes a month to form a habit. I think bad habits (such as smoking, which is both cool and good-feeling) can be formed much quicker. The "good" habits (flossing one's teeth, stretching after exercise, etc.) probably take about a month. As a recent flossing-convert, I have to agree with the month thing. That being said, since I have vowed to start my resolutions before the occasion of New Year's, I am looking forward to being able to pray the rosary on a daily basis. I believe that it will be very fulfilling in the long run, and am enjoying the process currently.

How are these two related (complaining and saying the rosary)? As a new Catholic, I am still learning about the true process of saying the Rosary. I am reading a little book by St. Louis de Montfort, which is very illuminating. I am aspiring to be more focused on the Mysteries whilst saying my hail marys, but currently I often reflect upon little things from the day (many of which are those things that I like to complain about). With time, I hope to replace the irritating with the more noble, but I accept the fact that I am human and will probably continue to complain about things that do not really matter in the big picture scheme of things.

Starting (Again)

So, I've attempted to start this thing now three times. I've deleted my previous posts because they have seemed either shallow or just self-indulgent. This morning, as I drove to mass, I decided that I am going to throw myself into the arms of God. I am going to throw myself openly to God in the hopes that I can be healed (I have some things that I'm dealing with...the specifics aren't really important except that it is the hardest thing I've had to overcome).

I started the becoming-a-Catholic process in the fall of 2007, the year I graduated from college. I started going to RCIA classes, which was just terrifying. I went to the first meeting (I ended up being late because I went to the wrong group, and just about burst into tears when I found out I was in the wrong place...it was awkward) on a very cold wintery morning with no idea what to expect. I'd been driven to the church from reading Dorothy Day, and just loved the idea that we are all part of one universal body and how the eucharist helps us to experience that.

I did not grow up in a religious family, but had been exposed to bits of the bible and hymns and things through school. I remained a closet-Catholic for quite some time, and it still continues to be something that I cannot share with my friends (I am a solo Catholic traveller, in my world).

At any rate, I was baptised, received communion and my first eucharist all in one night in a beautiful ceremony. Since then, I moved, stopped going to church for a while, and am just now starting to get back into the swing of things.

I want this blog to be a chronicle of my journey. Where I once turned to God out of joy and thankfulness, now I am doing so, not with an agenda, but with great, desperate hope.