Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real

This is me, capturing contentment from this week.  Amidst the chaos of there being so many things to do, and so many more that I want to do, I'm trying to remember to take deep breaths and just focus on today.  I am putting off that which doesn't need to be dealt with right now, and trying to stay busy without becoming frenzied.  Here's to the lovely women at Like Mother, Like Daughter.



{Pretty}

This is an organization board that I made, courtesy of a discovery through pinterest (which is really feeding my craft addiction quite well).  It is now hanging up on my kitchen wall and I love it!  The top frame includes a daily, weekly, and monthly cleaning list.  I still don't get all of these things done, but having the visual reminder on the wall now does help!  Here is the original link.

{Happy}

There are no two ways about it: life has been HARD lately.  I've been really riding the stress express train, so I've been trying to get creative.  I've baked two batches of cookies in the last week.  These ones above (just regular old chocolate chip) were the best I've ever made.  It's all about getting them out of the oven when they still look "raw" on top.  I always forget that they continue to cook sitting on the sheet, and that "just two more minutes" inevitably leads to burned bottoms (and no one wants that!).

{Funny}

Gabby (the trusty beagle) was clearly not amused, but I thought it was pretty funny that my little guy wanted to take her for a walk.

{Real}

This is going to be a beautiful rug someday, but right now it is just a tangled tangled mess.  I'm going to keep plugging away at it, until it looks like this.  I am really learning a lot during this process, but am looking forward to finishing it!  This will be going in the kitchen, which is currently rugless because of aformentioned beagle.

About Target

I love Target.  My son naps better in the stroller going through Target than anywhere else.  On bad days, walking down those aisles will always cheer me up whether or not I decide to purchase anything.

However, in a recent effort to start saving money, I've decided to cut back on my trips to Target.  On my most recent trip, I stocked up on everything I could possibly think of that might otherwise tempt me to revisit again soon: baby wipes (I love the Up & Up brand), prenatal vitamins (the Up & Up brand is the most comprehensive prenatal vitamin I've found), bath soap, dishwasher detergent (7th generation), and baby cereal (Earth's Best).  My goal is to abstain from Target for a month.

I am often drawn to Target (and shopping in general), because it is an easy excuse to get out of the house.  Why the need to get out?  At first, I blamed boredom and the need to stop looking at dirty dishes, unvacuumed surfaces, and dog hair fur piles that make me furrow my brow.  What I think this really boils down to is not maximizing the space and potential activities that my home can host.

Without complaining about my desire for a magical cleaning fairy to manage my housecleaning for me (as a born and raised slob, I am evolving slowly into being self-reliant and efficient in all manners of housework), I realized that with a cleaner and less cluttered house, I could happily be doing all sorts of fun things with materials that I already have!  While it is fun to find a craft, go out and buy supplies, and then come home and make it, this creates two problems: more stuff (clutter) being brought in and spending money (needlessly).

Here are some simple, fun, and cheap projects that I have been working on recently:

http://www.craftpassion.com/2010/03/recycle-tutorial-braided-rag-rug.html This is a braided rug made from old sheets- I'm sewing up my second one now, with one more to go in the bathroom.

My very own raised vegetable bed!  My husband used Pioneer Woman's Tutorial as his basis: http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeandgarden/2011/02/build-your-own-raised-flowervegetable-bed/

While I did have to buy materials to make a vegetable bed (and a fence to keep the dogs out of the compost), it allows me to better use the space in my yard.  Plus, I will hopefully have a nice crop of organic vegetables to enjoy soon(ish)!  I've been making my own baby food purees, and I think it will be really fun to show Hamish where food comes from and to be able to pick and feed him from plants in our own back yard.

With the money I save (hopefully, about a $100/month), I'm going to try to maintain my minimum hours/week at work so that I continue to have time at home with the boy and some nights off in common with my husband.  I don't think living within our means has to be difficult, but it can be a (very worthwhile) challenge.

This too, has changed

I'm rethinking this blog.

I used to write.  I wrote horrifically long papers in college and loved it.  I wrote angsty emo poetry in high school and loved it.  I wrote short stories when I was a child and loved it.  I kept a journal on and off growing up and loved it on and off.

I haven't been writing very much for a few years now.  I'm not quite sure in what form I want to write these days, but I know that the urge is there.  So, I'm going to turn to this blog for a little while.

As a result, I'm going to be expanding my original subject matter a little.  My life has changed so that I'm spending a lot of time at home with my little one.  As a result, my shift of interests has changed dramatically.  Now, I spend most of my waking hours thinking about diapers, homemaking, and green products.  While all of these things have been brewing for quite some time, my focus has sharpened quite dramatically.  So, why not take advantage of that by writing about it and sharing about it.  After all, all of these things are part of my journey into becoming a better person, more whole and healed and turning closer towards what I think it is that God wants me to do while I'm here.

I'm hoping to participate in Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real today but I have yet to begin charging my camera batteries.  Hopefully, I'll be on to that next (after I throw a load of laundry into the dryer!).

Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real

This is my first time participating in "Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real," which is an exercise of capturing the contentment in our everyday lives, an idea started by the women of "Like Mother, Like Daughter."

*Pretty*

My husband bought me these flowers.  These are from almost two weeks ago now, and they are still going strong.  They need to be spruced up a bit, but I love flowers like these (mums, I think?) that don't start withering right away- they keep the sunshine in my kitchen for quite a few days.

*Happy*



My little boy has decided that he likes the openness of laying on a big blanket, so that he can roll around and try to cram his feet into his mouth.  His movements are often accompanied by squeals and giggles- he is a constant source of delight.

My mum made this blanket- it's a Noah's Ark theme.  I decided to decorate the nursery with animals because of a plaque I found at a thrift store while I was pregnant.  The plaque has Noah's Ark and the words, "God Always Keeps His Promises."  I think about this often, that God wants us ultimately to be happy and fulfilled and wishes good things for us.  I try to keep this in mind especially while I am struggling emotionally (and lately has been no picnic).

Funny

I love this clock.  I bought it as a reward for passing my CNA exam just over a year ago.  I ended up not pursuing a job in healthcare, but the course really taught me a lot of valuable skills.  Some of this knowledge, such as avoiding overexposure during bathing, I put into use while taking care of my son.  It's sort of funny how life turns out, and I like to remember that no experience is wasted, and that certain events (like my course) turn out to be useful in ways that I would never have foreseen.

The bird is on a pendulum, and my son just loves to watch it swing back and forth.  I often let him watch it while he's upset, and it calms him right down.

Real





This is my empty diaper pail.  I always knew I wanted to use cloth diapers when I had a baby, mostly for the potential savings.  Now, it is something I feel quite passionate about, because of the avoidance of certain chemicals used in disposable diapers and the impact of those on the environment.  We have just started to introduce solid foods, and alas the diaper-cleaning process has changed.  There is nothing more grounding or humbling perhaps as scraping baby poop into a toilet.  This not very pleasant task challenges me to remember why I decided to use cloth, and to keep that in the forefront of my mind.

The Salad Chiller

I got this salad chiller as a wedding gift from my registry.  I love the idea of salad- a quick and healthy lunch that can be spiced up in an almost infinite number of ways.  From the base (no more boring iceberg lettuce) to the main ingredients (cucumbers, mandarin slices, almond, craisins or whatever) to the dressing, everything can be switched up to an individual taste.  Still, I have rarely ventured into this dish that is a staple for so many people.  I have certainly had salads I enjoyed, but I get stuck on so many gumption traps that I rarely commit to making one.  Here are some of the most persistent offenders:

1) Lettuce is only sold by large quantities (unless you get loose leafs, which is more expensive).  Inevitably, much of the lettuce goes bad and I really hate to waste food.  So, I would really have to commit to eating salad everyday for a number of days in order to use it all up.  I have yet to make this commitment, for a variety of reasons, but these will sound like excuses so I won't get into them here.

2) Good dressing is expensive, and I am too chicken to try making my own- I am worried about the various elements separating.

3) Vegetables don't stay fresh for all that long.  Since I'm menu-planning more now, this should be less of a problem (I can schedule my salads so that I beat the natural vegetable spoiling process).

This salad chiller is a pretty nifty device.  It has an ice-pack built into the lid, along with a separate compartment to store and pour dressing.  I can think of a few people who might really like and use this.  So, I could re-gift this or I could make the commitment to at least try and eat salad (at work, using this bad boy and at home).

To me, eating salad is the epitome of being healthy.  If I choose to rip this chiller out of its packaging, I am committing to keeping it in my home, possibly using it, and taking a step towards being healthier.  Until then, it is a nagging thought lurking unopened and enexplored in the back of a dusty cabinet.

Praying the rosary is akin to this salad chiller.  While my rosary has seen more action than this kitchen device, it remains just a pretty potential when stored away and not in use.  I admire anyway who commits to a daily, healthy lifestyle just as much as I admire one who commits to daily prayer.

There is always tomorrow.  There is always tomorrow to return home, to go to mass, to open myself to God and to move forwards with more goodness and love in my heart.  There is always tomorrow to start a healthy diet.

I am learning to accept the reality between the cliche: "It's not about the destination, it's about the journey."  However, I don't want to rest on my laurels with the comfort that there is always tomorrow.  I know that it takes a while for habits to form and become ritual, so I welcome moments (like uncovering the salad chiller) that signal me to tie my shoe laces and keep walking onwards.

The Small Picture

It is very easy to romantacize the "big picture," to wax philosophical about grand ideas of peace and hope, to imagine myself one day as a Good Catholic.

On a recent family vacation, we all sat around and talked about hope- hope for the coming year and hope in general.  I talked about my hope to promote peace in the world.  I used to believe that I could be like Martin Luther King Jr., like Dorothy Day, or Thomas Merton.  I can be like them in the sense that we share humanity, we share the inevitable shortcomings that come from having temptations and the dreams of reaching beyond our own limitations to the divine.

Before we can create peace in the world, we have to be at peace at home.  My peace on a day-to-day basis consists of making decisions to promote a simpler lifestyle than what is popular.  I use cloth diapers- laundering them brings me peace.  In not contributing more waste to landfills in the form of disposable diapers, I am (in a very small yet very concrete way) moving towards peace.  There is nothing grand or exotic in this, yet I believe that it is important.

I have several specific goals for 2012: weight loss, pray more, read more, be nicer to my dogs (they really push my patience), be a good mother, be a good wife....etc.  I really ought to measure all of these goals against the overall measure: will these things bring me peace?  Some of them (weight loss, specifically) are means to an end that will (hopefully) bring me peace.  I try to break goals into smaller ones, because these days, it's easy for me to get lost and discouraged during this time of adjusting to the demands of a new baby.

 My focus has been sharpened since becoming a mother.  Everything is for my son, and for any future children I might be lucky enough to have.  Not only am I setting an example to him, but I am providing him with a model of what a mother and wife should be.  Yikes!  Talk about pressure.  I've been reading Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas (?), and it talks about how a spouse is a mirror- one that shows us our failings and successes...I wonder what a child is?  A magnifying mirror?

Anyway, this post is a bit scattered.  I'm still thinking about all of this, and how it seems very important that I "get it," right now.  I feel positive that I'm moving in the right direction, it just feels like it is going rather slowly.  I hope I can move fast enough.  I fear that I will fail my family.  Failure is not the worst thing...I think it was Dorothy Day who said, "Fear of the thing is worse than the thing itself."

Prayer brings me closer to God.  God wants me to bring peace to the world.  Being peaceful helps me look for God in all things.  I hope to someday see myself the way that God sees me: That is a good new year's resolution.



Side note: I have been thinking a lot about prayer.  This post http://ourmothersdaughters.blogspot.com/2011/09/as-convert-with-no-collective-memory-to.html was very instructive.  I've been thinking about it a lot over the past few months.  This blog, in general, is shouting the direction I want to go in.

Integration

I've been thinking a lot lately about ways to integrate my faith practice with my life.  It is really challenging to turn away from distractions and towards religious pursuits.  I would love to one day have daily habits that I don't think twice about doing.  I am a creature of habit, of ritual, yet I am so easily swayed by impulses that lead me away from establishing routines.  I have accepted this.

These are things I would like to eventually do everyday:

1. Floss my teeth
How this relates to my faith: this mundane activity is very good for my dental health, and by taking care of my body, I am affirming that I, as one of God's creatures, am worth the love and effort.

2. Read some part of the bible everyday
How this relates to my faith: Well, I've never made it through the whole thing (I have made it through Deuteronomy) so I feel completely out of touch when people make biblical refereces.  I feel almost hypocritical calling myself a Christian, when I haven't even read this fundamental text.
Integration: I'm planning on acquiring the Bible on CD, so that I can listen to it in chunks while breast-feeding, since I will hopefully be doing a lot of that very soon.

3. Pray the rosary
How this relates to my faith: I really do love praying the rosary, and I even got a chaplet so that the task is less daunting (5 decades is a lot for me in one sitting).  I really prefer to spend 10-15 minutes on a shortened version where I am more focused, than to have a 30 minute stretch of distracted prayer.  I am hoping that in building up my prayer endurance, I will eventually graduate to saying the whole rosary in its original form.  Until then, I am enjoying communing through directed prayer and meditation.
Integration: I generally wake up before my husband in the mornings, so I'm hoping to just make this part of my morning ritual: I'm hoping that by starting the day off with prayer, that I will be more inspired to continue with good intentions throughout the rest of the day.

4. Prayer before meals
How this relates to my faith: I currently don't say grace before meals, and do not often sit at the table to eat.  I think that by returning my attention to giving thanks at meal times, that food will become more nourishing and will give me pause for thought of how I am using that energy throughout my day (am I engaging in activities that strengthen or weaken my faith?).
Integration: My husband and I have a common goal that our children will eat around the table for meals, because of the unifying benefits it has in building a sense of familial support and strength.  Whether or not we say grace out loud, or just take a moment to pause before diving into dinner, I think this should be fairly easy to start practicing (especially once my baby is born and in a high chair- no eating in the living room with the TV on).

These are my goals.  These are small activities, but I am hoping that in making them as simple as possible, that I will have success and can build from there.  All I can do is try my best, and to remember that God is always waiting patiently with open arms for me to turn towards Him from all my distractions.