I recently went to The Grotto, which is a sanctuary in Portland dedicated to Mary. I prayed for my upcoming marriage and for a little peace of mind. I've been feeling quite lost lately, and have been searching for something "to do" since I was not accepted into grad school.
I had a moment while I was in St. Paul in March, when there was still snow on the ground, and I was out on a run. I thought, I could become a nurse, I could tend to the sick and still be doing an activity of one of the beatitudes. If I'm not tending to the sick, housing the homeless, feeding the hungry, etc...then what am I doing? Being a waitress is technically feeding the hungry, but rarely am I addressing "real" hunger. Anyway, back to this moment. I thought that diving into nursing would be too much of a rebound, and that I shouldn't rush into it with the pangs of comparative literature reject fresh on my heart. I've been letting it mull over since that time, and I believe that it's the right thing to do.
I registered for a CNA course, which will be a good first step to see if I like the field, and to see if I'll be motivated enough to become a nurse some day. I'm sort of starting over (again) in a different field, and I'll have no experiences so I'll be at the bottom of the food chain, but it'll be good I think. It feels like a step in the right direction, and I'll be caring for people in a way that I never have before. I'll be serving people when they are at their most weak and vulnerable. There will be the viewing of more suffering, yes, but also a greater chance to see the face of Christ in my fellow man.
