It's been a rough week.
I didn't get into graduate school. I have been fighting the desperation that naturally followed, the one that made me think I needed an immediate fix--the back-up plan of all back-up plans. I thought that perhaps God wanted me to become a nurse (my undergraduate degree is in philosophy, and my intent was to study comparative literature, so nursing would have been quite the turnaround). However, the thought that our bodies are just composed of a pile of organs really disturbs me on a deep, primal level, so I have decided to forgo an attempt to become a nurse.
Instead of turning to my faith to get me through these stressful and confusing times, I have stayed away. I feel like I am very much in my adolescence...I am a sultry teenager whom no one could understand. That being said, in this metaphor I have very loving parents so I don't feel alone (now).
I've been reading a similar themed blog written by a young woman living in Canada, who is a relatively new Orthodox Christian. It has been a comfort and inspiration during Lent.
For now, I am just trying to be patient and wait. "Be still and know that I am God."
