The Art of Complaining

I work in a restaurant, so, naturally, I have many occasions to complain: customers, being sent home early because it's dead, co-workers, etc. I try to believe that everything happens for a reason. For instance, when I end up leaving work either very early or very late, I tell myself that this is God's timing that prevents me from getting into a car accident on the way home.

Last night, for instance, I ended up going home after only 2.5 hours of work. I was quite happy to do so (my three tables left me a nice little sum), as I was looking forward to an evening of working on crafts and such. I got a text message from a friend who had a bad feeling about the night. I took the opportunity to say the rosary and prayed for my friend's safety. My friend returned home safely by the end of the night.

However, I managed to get quite a few complaints in before going home last night. I try to remind myself that complaining doesn't achieve any positive results, unless it's vitally necessary to get something off one's chest for fear of later yelling at the wrong person. Still, it's something I'm going to try really hard to work on. I have been granted so many gifts that I should be focusing on being grateful instead.

People say that it takes a month to form a habit. I think bad habits (such as smoking, which is both cool and good-feeling) can be formed much quicker. The "good" habits (flossing one's teeth, stretching after exercise, etc.) probably take about a month. As a recent flossing-convert, I have to agree with the month thing. That being said, since I have vowed to start my resolutions before the occasion of New Year's, I am looking forward to being able to pray the rosary on a daily basis. I believe that it will be very fulfilling in the long run, and am enjoying the process currently.

How are these two related (complaining and saying the rosary)? As a new Catholic, I am still learning about the true process of saying the Rosary. I am reading a little book by St. Louis de Montfort, which is very illuminating. I am aspiring to be more focused on the Mysteries whilst saying my hail marys, but currently I often reflect upon little things from the day (many of which are those things that I like to complain about). With time, I hope to replace the irritating with the more noble, but I accept the fact that I am human and will probably continue to complain about things that do not really matter in the big picture scheme of things.

Starting (Again)

So, I've attempted to start this thing now three times. I've deleted my previous posts because they have seemed either shallow or just self-indulgent. This morning, as I drove to mass, I decided that I am going to throw myself into the arms of God. I am going to throw myself openly to God in the hopes that I can be healed (I have some things that I'm dealing with...the specifics aren't really important except that it is the hardest thing I've had to overcome).

I started the becoming-a-Catholic process in the fall of 2007, the year I graduated from college. I started going to RCIA classes, which was just terrifying. I went to the first meeting (I ended up being late because I went to the wrong group, and just about burst into tears when I found out I was in the wrong place...it was awkward) on a very cold wintery morning with no idea what to expect. I'd been driven to the church from reading Dorothy Day, and just loved the idea that we are all part of one universal body and how the eucharist helps us to experience that.

I did not grow up in a religious family, but had been exposed to bits of the bible and hymns and things through school. I remained a closet-Catholic for quite some time, and it still continues to be something that I cannot share with my friends (I am a solo Catholic traveller, in my world).

At any rate, I was baptised, received communion and my first eucharist all in one night in a beautiful ceremony. Since then, I moved, stopped going to church for a while, and am just now starting to get back into the swing of things.

I want this blog to be a chronicle of my journey. Where I once turned to God out of joy and thankfulness, now I am doing so, not with an agenda, but with great, desperate hope.